This week in sensationalism, I’m going to take a leave of absence from navigating any actual sensationalism and instead tackle something personal. I am also going to do this in such a way that will abandon the usual comic-cynicism for brutal honesty, so please forgive me if this post is not sprinkled with the usual comic relief and fart jokes.
I probably will be penalized for deviating from my own narrative, but I don’t care. I am at my wit's end. If I have to force myself to sift through one more post about sensationalist bullshit or overt hypocrisy, I'm probably going to go postal. I can’t get this off my mind, so I might as well make something positive out of the situation and write about it. So grab your little violins people because this one's a doozy.
Last night was like any other night with my girlfriend. We made dinner, we danced, we laughed, and we talked about our future together. We were just coming off heels of one the greatest weeks I have ever spent with her—or anyone for that matter—and to say it has been magical would be an understatement. Alas, good times can be fleeting, and unfortunately my Irish luck (aka no luck at all) caught up with me. I was making a quick Google search on her phone when I noticed the previous searches pop up as I typed. In said suggestions - among others - were searches regarding “what to do if I cheat on my boyfriend.” Naturally, I was curious as to the context of these searches so I simply asked her “Whaddup with dat?” Unfortunately, she didn’t have to answer. Her face said it all. Later, she would cop to cheating on me while also informing me that it happened weeks ago.
Now I don’t know what's more embarrassing, being lied to for this long, being lied to under advice from Cosmo magazine, or writing this while listening to Stonefox’s “All I Want.”
If this had happened last year, I probably would be still sleeping off a biblical hangover and waking up with a stranger, but you know what? I am so glad that this is no longer the case. I don’t ever want to be that person again. Ironically, and somewhat paradoxically, I have only Leslie to thank for this radical change in behaviour. I am man enough to admit she has been one of the most positive and profound influences I have ever had in my life.
And now for the point of this little rant.
One of the most valuable things I have learned over the last couple of years is that it is much easier to hate than it is to love. Consequently, I have also learned that what is easy is not always right, and what is hard is what so often sets us free. I do not hate her for this, nor am I going to allow myself to become jaded by what she has done. She had her reasons, some valid, some not, and I accept that. For better or for worse, I will always love her, and I have no regrets. We probably won't make it through this, but that’s beside the point. This circular phenomenon of girl hurts guy, guy becomes asshole (or vice versa) is a toxic human behaviour pattern that needs to stop. It solves nothing and accomplishes even less. All there is to do now is remember the good times, disregard the bad, pick up the pieces, and move on.
Photo Credit: Geordin Crosbie
Just a 23-year-old Irishman stuck in the city that fun forgot, cutting through the bullshit one story at a time. My hobbies include pretending I’m a scribbler, navigating sobriety, and consuming lemon-flavoured libations. I imagine myself becoming a famous writer one day, but if that doesn’t work out, I can always fall back on cooking professionally and screaming at people.