Reality Trumps Reality TV

I check the clock and realize I have five minutes before my new favorite show starts. I reach into the cupboard and shuffle around until I find a bag of popcorn, stuffed at the back, underneath a half-eaten box of cereal. With only a single bag of popcorn remaining, I make note of the location of the cereal box, I may be back for it.

I slap the bag in the microwave and punch the timer for a minute and 54 seconds, the ideal time for this brand. I pour a couple sodas and add ice for myself and my family, regular for myself and diet for my folks. I peek my head around the corner of the kitchen and ask, “Has it started yet?”

Photo Source: Pixabay

Photo Source: Pixabay

“Not yet!” I hear shouted back at me. Great, I don’t want to miss a second of this, my new favorite celebrity is going to be walking the red carpet soon and I fully intend to be seated firmly in my chair with snacks and a beverage. I hear the ding of the microwave, grab the popped corn, and get into the living room. I place the assembled snacks at a perfect reach for my mother, grandmother, and myself. It’s really rare these days for my family to be able to find something that can be enjoyed by three different generations, but after a while of searching we’ve finally found it.

We all shush each other as the television speaks, “Coming up next, the United States Presidential debate. Stay tuned for—.” I’ve heard all I need and let out a cheer, tossing the popcorn I was holding in my hand into the air, letting it freely scatter amidst my hair and upon the floor. We’re all grinning ear-to-ear and ready for the second round of hilarity.

My family and I all have different reasons for enjoying this fine television programming. But we all enjoy it nonetheless. My grandmother, an old-school feminist and longtime Hillary fan who owns all of her books, is excited to watch the old girl lay the smack-down on Trump. My mother feels the need to be informed, to be out of touch in today’s era is punishable by ridicule. She watched the previous episode with her mouth agape, stunned by the insanity on display.

But myself? I have a very different reason for enjoying my new favorite show. Donald Trump is a madman. The dude is completely insane. Everything from his two-sizes-too-small toupee to his slithery walk. That’s why I just can’t stop watching, he’s just so damn funny. He’s the greatest modern mainstream comedian, and his new show “The United States Presidential Debate” is pure satirical gold.

Hold on a moment, I’m being told that this is not a new hit television show and that the United States are genuinely holding an election. No, that’s ridiculous, I don’t believe that for a moment.

It is simply impossible that Donald Trump could actually be saying any of the things he’s saying and still expect to win if he were honestly trying to become the president. No, no, this must all be fiction. Though, the advertising for this show over the last few months was distressingly realistic. I was beginning to think that this might be real, but thankfully, after watching this “debate,” I have been reaffirmed of my beliefs that this is merely comedy programming.

Photo source: Nicholas Wrixon-Wood

Photo source: Nicholas Wrixon-Wood

It’s shocking that they managed to get Hillary Clinton herself to play the role of Donald Trump’s opposition. And the fact that they would have a fictional election featuring someone vying to become the first female president is an intriguing idea, I do feel kind of bad for Hillary though, I didn’t think that she was in such a dire state that she’d need the money for this kind of show but what do I know, maybe she thought it would be fun?

It’s really weird though, personally, I would pair a laugh track with a show like this. And Donald Trump is the only person cracking jokes, it’s a really experimental angle but I’ll be damned before saying I don’t enjoy it. They took a chance and I think that it paid off.

I give Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton’s new show “The United States Presidential Debate” five stars, it’s quality entertainment and I highly recommend everyone enjoy it.


Nicholas Wrixon-Wood

Nicholas Wrixon-Wood was born, raised, and is still living in Ottawa, Ontario. Nicholas is a fledgling writer with a primary interest in fantasy and science fiction, though he can appreciate a well-written story of any flavour. Currently studying at Algonquin College, he has an interest in exploring the different options that exist within the professional writing world. 

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John Cutland

A 22 year old college student with a passion for nerdy things. John Cutland is currently attending Algonquin College for professional writing and one day dreams to be a novelist. He enjoys reading, writing, playing video games, and larping.

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